Surprise

I'm not a good friend. I'm not a friend at all. A friend wouldn't have left you sprawled out on my stoop like that, writhing in a pool of pepper spray and totaled birthday cake. Pail pink pastry pieces plastered the pavement around you. Today I turned 26. I can't believe you actually remembered. I just wish you would have listened to me when I urged you to not throw me a surprise party.